To live in harmony with others is not an option for believers; it’s a command.  Jesus said in John 13:34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  Our love for one another provides evidence that we are, in fact, true followers of Jesus.

One way to test the genuineness of our Christian faith is to ask ourselves:  Do I make every effort to live in peace with other people?  Are my social relationships characterized by harmony?  Do I have a growing sensitivity to others?  Am I patient, displaying an attitude of forbearance?  Do I, in my daily life, truly “love my brother?”

When I examined myself on the issue of anger, I’ve come to realize to my discredit that when I allowed anger to disrupt a relationship that was important to me, I immediately became concerned about it and was eager to take steps to bring about reconciliation and restoration.  However, when my anger disrupted a relationship that was not particularly important to me, I have a tendency to ignore it.  I found myself thinking, “Well, I may never see that person again, anyway.  So, why bother to restore the relationship?  It would be different if we were close friends.  But in this case, does it really matter?”

A couple of days ago, a salesman from a company manufacturing portable buildings called me.  He was an older gentleman but I think a very forgetful one as well.  He called asking how a certain project was coming along and whether this project needed any portable buildings.  This was not the first time that he called me about this project.  In fact, this was the third time over the past couple of months that he called inquiring about this same project.  The previous two times I politely told him that our company was not involved with that project and that he must have gotten his information wrong.  However, this time I let my frustration be known to him.  I didn’t yell at him but I was quite abrupt in telling him to make a note of it so that he would not call me about it again.  I could sense he knew I was not a happy camper when we hung up.

Looking back at that situation, was I wrong in what I did?  Was I too harsh?  Should I call this person up and apologize for my abruptness?

What makes reconciliation so difficult for many is that often we really don’t want to reconcile.  Somehow we seem to enjoy our anger – it relieves the frustration in us, at least for the moment.  We believe it’s justified and that we deserve this opportunity to relish it.  It takes an unprecedented amount of moral resolve to acknowledge those feelings and submit them to the Lord.  It’s hard to say, “Lord, I don’t feel like resolving this anger, but I do want to be obedient to your command.  Help me to be a doer of your Word, not just a hearer.  Give me the courage and strength to attempt, with all sincerity, the reconciliation that will please you.”

Reconciliation is not easy, but if we mean business in our relationship with Christ, then we are called to attempt to restore every relationship we’ve broken.

Blessings,

Bill Wong, Vancouver, BC   

“You may think you have nothing to offer to a 20something, you’d be surprised.” 

As I was flipping through the latest issue of Discipleship Journal (May/June 2007), I saw this title “Next Gen wants You”. I must say that I was very impressed by the article and I will quote from it heavily.

The author Lisa Borden uses the occasion of the upcoming Mother’s Day to share her insight from I Thessalonians 2:6-8.

       “As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were

       gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.  We loved

       you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel 

       of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”

What do we have to offer to the new generation? Gentle wisdom. Parental love.  A sharing of our lives.

1. Gentle wisdom

What does gentleness look like in a relationship with someone from the next generation? The key word here is humility.

       I need to humble myself and listen to what my young companions have

       to say. I need to let them express their criticisms of the way we’ve been

       doing things.

2. Parental love

The author first makes an observation.

       This is a parentless generation. Parents are more consumed with their

        careers and struggles and less available to their children than is healthy.

Then the challenge. Be interested in what they do. Affirm them for work well done. Encourage them to eat better and sleep healthy. But she quickly points out that parental love has to be more than simple encouragement. There are times that we have to speak the hard truth to them.

3. Real life

Here the author tells the older generation what not to do.

Her advice is simple. Don’t try to look like them. They are not looking for us to fashion after them. They need to see the real us, both in the way we dress outwardly and the way we live out our faith in the gritty places of real life.

It was the concluding paragraph with its concept of permissioning that touches me most.

To summarize, each generation needs to follow hard after God, and that may mean they do things differently from those who went before. But it is important that in breaking free of one another, the intergenerational relationship does not rupture. Otherwise it will lead to lack of accountability and safety.

Every generation needs a safe place to wonder aloud and dream. As we walk with the young people as they pursue their dreams, we must give them permission to try (and fail) and allow them to think outside the box. If we practice the art of permissioning carefully, our relationship will remain intact.

What then is our task? Simply put, “I see us helping our young friends step into all God has for them so that they can do all they are being called to do to reach this world.”

I highly recommend this article and after reading it over and over again, I could not help but think that Lisa Borden does have a Contempo heart.