Project Contempo Blog » 2009

Last Sunday, I was studying with Paul from CCF for our mid term exam. We took a break for supper and got some Chinese take out food. There, a person who appeared homeless and a bit mentally challenged came into the restaurant, pretty much right into my face, asking for some change. My gut reflex was to say no, thinking about how he might use the money. But I had been challenged by how our CCF members had shared about intentionally interacting with homeless people. I took a few seconds and then asked him to order what he’d like and I would cover the charge of his meal. He gratefully accepted, ordering a spicy chicken dish. It was highly uncomfortable, and the staff seemed unwillingly to serve him until I told them I would pay. Paul then covered the cost of an apple juice for the stranger. As we waited for our respective meals, I started the conversation and found out that his name is James.

When our take-outs were ready, we left the restaurant and Paul shared that God had just answered his prayers. He recognized James from another instance when he showed up at another restaurant. Paul had refused him any change, but reflected with some other CCFers who challenged him. Paul then prayed that God might give him a second chance to help James, so this was that second chance. It was a special moment. As I reflect, I think of a conference speaker who defined poverty not merely a lack of money, but a lack of choice. Paul and I have the choice of what and where to eat, but James does not. It was the first time I bought food for a homeless person.

What would you have done?

(The above names has been modified for personal reason)

Recently I read an article on praise in Globe and Mail. It discusses the pros and cons of praise in the workplace. The article impresses me because it mentions that there are people who actually do not appreciate praise. While I do not recall all the details, it makes me think twice before praising others.

Most people are responsive to praise and will increase in self-esteem if a suitable amount of praise is received. Some psychological theories hold that some people thrive on praises as if that is the main reason for their existence. However, others are much less affected by or even averse to praise. In the workplace some coworkers may take it to mean that you simply want them to keep doing what they have been doing. Others may even respond negatively to praise, thinking that they have reached their peak and will not be invited to participate in new projects.

So what is the art of praise? Three key points.

1. Praise should be genuine and not just done out of routine or obligation.

2. Praise should be selective. Priase in the workplace should be directed to the attainment of specifed goals, not just participation. For example, teachers need not praise students for not disrupting the class where proper behaviour is expected. Reserve praise only when it is deserved. Also, when a person is being praised, it should be done in relation to the individual’s past and not compared with others.

3. Praise should be specific. A general comment such as “great job” or “well done” is not the same as “I really appreciate your graphic presentation” or “I like the way you summarized the situation”. The praise here is directly related to a particular effort and not to the result (for example whether a deal is successful or not). The former is preformance but the latter depends on numerous factors including many that we have no control over.

Looking back at my own career, I have had my share of praise as well as criticism. The one praise that really touched my heart came at the time when I was just starting to specialize in Infectious diseases and I did not have enough self confidence. My professor (who happens to be a Christian) made this pledge to me: “I know you can do it but if you ever needed a second opinion you can call me any time of the day.” Indeed I have called him in the middle of the night for advice. His pledge helps me to understand what praise really is. A worthy praise is more than an affirmation. It comes with the promise to walk alongside and provide timely help.

My prayer is that Project Contempo will spread this spirit of worthy praise. It is particularly important in inter-generational interaction. It is our aim to stretch one another in an atmosphere of encouragement and assurance.

Clement Yeung

March 2009

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